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First, what would John have Suzanne doing now? What new depth to her depravity would he find? The other thing that was gnawing at me was that John had said after three moths with Suzanne that he would 'meet with both of you to discuss the future". I spent a lot of time thinking about what that meant.I reviewed the changes in my life over the past months. I started this journey reading and enjoying many slut wife/hotwife stories off of the internet. I enjoyed them and I fantasized heavily about some of them happening to Suzanne. That was a form of cheating on Suzanne, I mused. I had a sex life of my own that she was isolated from. My 'addiction' to those stories wasn't terribly healthy, I guess.Then our anniversary night. Wow. That was an awakening for me. When confronted with the reality of the hotwife, my immediate reaction was to recoil. I wanted to go back to vanilla sex and quiet close loving. But John had seen that spot on my soul that still enjoyed what was happening. He knew. ALL will be assimilated into collective schizophrenia. The abyss of the virus is so endless we will finally envision eternity as it must be & that truth will set us free. In the world that *We* the True Believers have foreseen, the conspiracy theorists & fundamentalists will be vindicated beyond their wildest dreams & it will be like this hollow fiction we inhabit now never existed. The end of time will arrive at last. Have *you* heard the good news brother? Trying not to sleepwalk, I’m confronted presently with my own splintering perception as the virus enters terminal stage, vaulting me from one universe to the next without the faintest hope of slowing, assaulted with the intricacies of ten thousand different points of view at once. I now see how we assume personal identities like masks & wait to be found out, itching for the next round so we can play more dress up. The injustice of it all is old hat & we miss our true powers so, no more of the inhospitable human condition, no more.
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